We Don't Have to Pick a Struggle Here

I just found myself writing the longest Facebook post ever and realized that wasn't a good idea.  I moved that here so I can edit better and maybe add photos.  I hope it's not too much longer but this will likely be not short.  You have been warned ha.

I have deleted a whole bunch of potential comments about the conversation around dress codes on college campuses. I have never worked at an HBCU so I have not had 30 plus Black students in my classes ever. I have always worked at PWIs, as an instructor of record, so the classrooms can be almost all white to a pretty good cross section of the United States. And in all that time, if my campuses had a dress code no one was checking to make sure it was enforced. From the big schools to the small schools to even a ground campus of University of Phoenix, what I have noticed is students have much more complicated lives than I did when I was in undergrad--I'll get back to that in a second--and that the world has moved fast in some regards and not much at all in others. 

They have lots of information available to them but not always the critical thinking skills to break down what they are consuming. From out of date tech to not having cursive signatures, it's a LOT of mixed bag things happening. But across all of those settings, students have struggles that compound as the semester goes on. It may start with a late refund check so books are late and assignments are late but that snowballs into late rent, bills, lack of food and sometimes laundry washing options. What we as institutions provide to students are dramatically different than what was provided to us. So I think we forget these are large children, who are legally of age but whose experience of the world is not what we're prepping them for. We can definitely want to prepare them for boardrooms and interviews but they NEED to KNOW why and not just follow us blindly. Just trust me won't get em there. And remember all those struggles I mentioned--lots of them impact their ability to just be present with us.  I have students request meetings around their work and school schedules and it would mean meeting well before I'm functional or well after I'm home for the day so we have to pinpoint an hour in the midst of chaos.  They are very apologetic and I am very sympathetic.  I worked in undergrad to have spending money, not because if I didn't I couldn't pay tuition or rent.  And I still wish we had built dorms on my campus so that at least for a few years their "rent" could be part of their cost of attendance and wrapped into very low tuition.  That's a lament for another day.

I'm sure you are wondering what's the point in all of this Rosalyn.  I'm glad you asked.  As a professor, I legitimately am just happy most days when my students can be present in class.  I'm overjoyed when they have had time to do the readings and are ready to have a conversation about it.  I go home on cloud 9 when I see the excitement in their eyes cause they are locked in on the learning.  What I rarely am is annoyed if they are in pajamas.  And to be clear all of my kids from all racial backgrounds and demographics are able to show up in pajamas.  Washing machine died, fell asleep writing papers and rushed out to class, whatever it is just come to class.  IN CLASS is where I can talk to them about what to wear in other venues BEFORE I take them to those venues.  When I have my juniors and seniors, I talk to them about buying one piece of professional clothing a month ahead of graduation so they have at least a few weeks of professional clothing to mix and match when they step into grown up jobs.  We talk about that for job interviews and conferences.  Am I as strict as career services, nope sorry guys because I know what they need to do in the settings that I am sending them into.  It has come up with graduate students as well and we still work through the same things, a piece or two a month OR graduation is coming ask for gift cards for clothing.  What I don't do is tell them that it's the only way to be present.  

When I took my first job, my boss had us in business attire every day except once a blue moon when we could wear jeans.  His rationale was that we could need to respond to an emergency on TV at any point and needed to look the part.  It felt very disconnecting from my clients who I was maybe five or six years older than in most cases.  Now I mix in business casual with jeans and t-shirts and I'm the same age as my students' parents but when I'm comfortable I can convey what I need to better.   Would I wear that meeting with the system president, the business casual probably, but if it was an impromptu meeting I'm not going home to change out of the jeans.  My knowledge and competence doesn't change because of what I'm wearing.  It changes how other people react to me UNTIL I open my mouth.  I'm apparently much more intimidating in the jeans and t-shirts so there's that.  

Colleges are free to have, or not have, whatever codes they may want.  Dress codes, behavior, integrity codes.  All of those are important.  Enforcement also good and needs to be uniform.  Perhaps because I've always been at public institutions, this has just not been pressing because we know we have to serve a wide swath of folks.  I attended a small private HBCU (Fisk Forever since I want to keep it cute, not my favorite Fisk chant at all).  I'm sure there was a dress code.  I don't remember anyone ever getting coded.  I do remember one homecoming being forced to dress up to come for the fancy dinner in the cafeteria and the dinner was trash so never did that again.  However, it was the 90s and looking back at us we looked at little business people at parties for no clear reason why so our day to day wardrobe was just a little more relaxed.  Unless we had that 8:30 class with Dr. McKelvey-Welch.  We struggle bussed over to the classroom, sneaked out to get breakfast, and then came back looking rough.  Thankfully she was really into videos in the dark otherwise we may have been in trouble.  What we definitely had were professors that told us the why behind why they had such high standards for us academically.  They were pouring knowledge into us and a lot of love.  I think that's what is missing in the larger conversations I have opted out of.  If we can't do a lot of what we are doing with young people from a place of love it's gonna go in one ear and out of the other.  It's not just meeting them where they are.  It's more of a matter of saying hey, I know this may seem silly or not your experience but as long as folks my age or who were trained by folks that trained me there are still ways you need to present if you want to be taken seriously by those folks.  Maybe that will change when we're gone and you can do whatever but for now let's talk about how to navigate the system as it is.  And that's more than dress code, it's writing emails that are legible, CHECKING your emails, following up when requested.  It's multiple steps.  If we are only going to focus on one thing we're missing all of the other things we think they should just know.  Promise you they do not know.  If we're going to invest, let's go all in not just to the mall.

Now if you made it all the way down here answer one of the following things:

1. Where was Usher at 7 o'clock?
2. All my friends are________, take it slow
3. What were Barbara and Shirley fussing about?
4. What is the appropriate response to "I got six and a possible."
5. What television station have I insisted on having since 2001?